


falling for you

by justapoet



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Carlos Reyes Loves TK Strand, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, they just love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 18:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30143946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justapoet/pseuds/justapoet
Summary: Three times Carlos had had his heart broken and one time he could mend it.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 3
Kudos: 129





	falling for you

As a child, seeing a stray dog searching for food would be something to break Carlos' heart ― it still is, but he learned, as the years passed, that he couldn't help everyone. As a teenager, movies about dogs who died and listening to what people had to say on every single subject that didn't have to do with them would also be something to break his heart. As an adult, consequently, as a cop, humanity ― and the lack of it ― would be daily breaking the man's heart.

But, those were heartbreaks that he learned to deal with. Leaving dog food for a few stray dogs at his street, avoiding any Hollywood project that involved dogs, or pretending he was deaf when people started to mascarade cruelty with honesty. He also would repeat that "not everyone can be saved" after every shift, so he would drive himself insane every night.

He didn't know, only, that none of those heartbreaks could've prepared him to see sadness and loneliness inside the most beautiful and shiny eyes he's ever seen.

He's been in love before, for a few times. If being honest, he could bet something around two or three, all of them being different for him to feel.

The first time was when he was thirteen, and that was this sweet boy that used to sit by his side at science classes. He never really talked about it, but he knew he could be in love with Morgan when, every time they hugged each other, a silly smile would come to his face.

But he never really tried anything. Firstly, because he was way too shy to directly talk to someone, and secondly because he would always imagine that it was nothing, and maybe it wasn't worth the risk. They were young, after all, and he was well aware that it was practically impossible for any relationship at their age not to have an end. He didn't like ends at all, so he would tell himself that it wasn't it. He never fell in love before that, so maybe he was just messing things up. It stopped hurting the next summer.

Falling in love with Morgan was easy and unnoticed. If he fell in love at all.

The second time, he was fifteen. There was this cute boy, always smiling and being kind and lovely, mainly with his girlfriend. Honestly, he would always laugh remembering how he loved to imagine what could be different in another reality, and how it lasted until he was seventeen and finished high school. It was even funnier to look back at those nights he would hold his pillow and let himself be sad for someone so out of reach.

Falling in love with Trevor was funny and lasting.

The last time still haunted the corner of his dreams. He was twenty-three, a young cop starting to get recognized by his supervisors, and he also dreamed about finding something ― someone ― as stable as his life was being.

He thought he had found that in Declan. It was sweet and soft, at the beginning. He was a kind, caring and picture-perfect man anyone could ever dream about. Until all those dreams became nightmares right in front of his eyes, and he seemed to be trapped in a severe case of dream paralysis.

He couldn't remember when the verbal aggression started, but he remembers the first time he stopped eating and worked out till exhaustion just because Declan said something about his thighs. He couldn't remember when he stopped talking, but he does remember the first few times the man said his voice was too weird and his opinions were shallow and irrelevant. He couldn't make himself remember when the first punch came, but he surely remembers the voice of the dispatcher telling him that the police were on their way.

He didn't remember when he last looked in the mirror, but he could never forget how his sergeant looked at him, that night.

That was a kind of heartbreak he never thought he would have to deal with himself. And it was so worse to think that what hurt the most weren't his broken ribs or the bruises all over his skin, but the way his heart seemed to be so small and so... Wasted. And what was even more painful was that that man didn't only leave his love aside, but made him leave himself behind in the darkness and doubt.

Falling in love with Declan was a mistake.

Carlos could still remember the pain of each one of the situations. How he would forget his feelings for Morgan by using the word "friend" again and again, or how he would just smile at Trevor and give advice about where to take Sarah on their anniversary. He could still remember the sleepless nights he spent at the hospital, the cruelly painful therapy sessions, or how ridiculous it was for a cop to flinch at anyone suddenly raising their voice or approaching him too fast or suddenly.

And yet, that none of those heartbreaks could've prepared him to see sadness and loneliness inside the most beautiful and shiny eyes he's ever seen. Nothing he'd been through could've made it hurt less to see tears streaming down his cheeks and his lips pressed so his sobs weren't too loud.

"TK?" he called as he opened the door. His eyebrows were almost pressed together, worrying at the moment he heard the knock on the door and not the keys clinging. "Babe?"

He moved so TK could walk in, and Carlos closed the door as TK sat on the couch, his knees brought up close to his chest and his elbows resting over it, his head buried in his arms. Carlos approached carefully, his steps soft against the floor. He sat beside his boyfriend, looking at him and waiting for anything; any move, word, sound, whatever. His hands were on his lap, and he didn't move at all.

"She's leaving again," TK said, still hiding his head on his arms, his voice heavy with tears and muffled by the position. "didn't even say a thing, she..." and a sob interrupted his sentence. Carlos stood still, not knowing what to say. TK was talking about Gwyn? Didn't she and Owen decide to try again? Weren't they expecting a baby together?

He had clearly missed something.

After a few minutes, TK was still crying, and he couldn't stop himself even if he felt pathetic. Carlos got closer, his knee slightly touching the side of TK's leg, and asked "Can I touch you, Ty?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he let his body slowly bend to the side, and Carlos quickly opened his arms so his boyfriend could make himself comfortable. TK put his head against Carlos' shoulder and his hand gripped tightly to the t-shirt the cop was wearing, as Carlos' arms were circling the smaller body and holding him tight. His hand drew circles on TK's back, trying to calm him down for the next few minutes until the paramedic was only sniffing quietly.

"Do you want to talk about it, babe?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. TK went silent for a while before saying anything, his tears, also silent, making Carlos' shoulder wet and his heart small.

"She's leaving," he said, his voice hoarse. Carlos couldn't be sure which were more broken; if TK's words and voice, or if his own heart. "My mom. She's leaving, going to New York again and-" he stopped, just for his next words to sound filled with anger and pain. "And she didn't even think about telling me".

Carlos kept quiet, waiting for TK to say everything he needed to.

"What was the point of all of this?" he asked, after a few amount of time.

"The point?" Carlos asked softly, considerably curious.

"Why did she come to Texas after all?" he said again. "Because I was shot? Because I can't remember a moment she sat by my side and talked to me. I can't remember of a second she asked if I was okay, or what was going on in my life" TK moved his head, looking at Carlos then. "The only time I heard her talking about me as if she was worried, was when she was blaming my father about me getting shot or about my overdose" he laughed humorless, looking at the ground. Carlos wished so bad he could take it all away. "And that's even ridiculous because they don't even remember that today's..." and he stopped himself.

Carlos frowned at his reaction to the half-said sentence.

"Today?" Carlos asked. "What is today?"

TK tried to pull away and Carlos let him, seeing how he seemed to try to hide among the furniture. He looked down, biting his lip and curling his body in a ball.

"Ty, babe" he called again, getting closer and touching his boyfriend's arm as he didn't pull away. " _Amor,_ what is today?"

He murmured something that Carlos couldn't understand.

"Cariño..." he called again, and TK sighed.

"One year," he said. "I'm one year sober, today".

Carlos' eyes opened wide, and he let go of TK's arm for a second in his choked reaction. TK lowered his head as if he was ashamed of admitting it. Carlos couldn't help but smile, suddenly, and he made his way to be kneeling in front of his boyfriend.

"Ty!" he said. "Oh, God, Ty!" he laughed, and TK held his head up just a bit to see Carlos smiling with tears in his eyes and an _oh-so-beautiful_ smile on his lips. "This is incredible, you're incredible! Oh, por Díos, I'm so, so proud of you, love" he said, and TK seemed to be confused, his bright green eyes still wet and vulnerable.

"You are?" he asked, his voice so low that Carlos could barely hear.

"Of course, yeah, I am," he said, holding his boyfriend's hands in his. " _Eres tan fuerte, mi amor_ " he whispered, slowly getting up so he could press his forehead to TK's. " _Tengo tanta suerte de tenerte_ "

"What does it mean?" he asked shyly, and Carlos laughed briefly.

"I'm so lucky to have you," he said. "You're so strong, my love".

There was a glimpse of hope before TK sighed, shrugging.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "Not even my father remembers it, and I-"

"And you've been sober for a year, after all that happened to you. After moving out of New York to a completely new town, after getting a new team, a new job. After risking yourself daily, after getting shot" Carlos listed patiently, taking TK's face between his caring hands.

"After recovering from it, and deciding to risk yourself all over again. After having so many bad days, so many reasons to give up, you've been sober. You've been through your worst days wide awake and facing everything strongly and fiercely, just because you didn't want to give up. _Of course,_ TK _,_ it matters. You matter, love. To your team, to your father, even if he's being an idiot. And, to me, TK, you're just _everything"_ his eyes were deep on TK's teary ones, and he could only smile. "It might not be much at all, but just so you know that you're so much for so many people and absolutely everything for someone else."

TK couldn't stop more tears to fall silently, as he stared into those beautiful brown eyes that meant the world to him. He sighed again, a little laugh getting out of his lips as he smiled just a little bit. Carlos smiled widely, happy that he could at least get a smile from the other man.

"It's everything" TK whispered, then, making sure his nose touched Carlos' and his breath reached his mouth. "It's not "not much at all". It's everything. You're everything," he said, leaning forward to press a kiss against the cop's lips.

Despite the salty tears, the kiss was just as sweet as all of their kisses were; it tasted like comfort and caring. TK could feel the tension and heaviness of the morning leaving his body as he slowly stood up just so he could wrap his arms around Carlos' waist. Between kisses, Carlos smiled and hugged his boyfriend back, just to break another kiss and leave a few ones on his boyfriend's pretty face. The paramedic smiled, putting his forehead against Carlos once more and tightening the grip on his body.

"I love you," he said, and the slightly taller man smiled.

"Te quiero, cariño" the latino whispered back. "You can't even imagine how proud I am of you, TK Strand. The strongest man I've ever known" his hands were kind while caressing TK's body slowly. The act was sweet, and TK could easily melt. "And that's not even the best part, to get to know you".

TK chuckled a little, knowing that Carlos's next words would be just as sweet as his tone.

"Yeah?" he said, hiding his face on the crook of his boyfriend's neck. "And what would the best part be?"

"I'm lucky enough to have this strong and incredible man loving me just as much as I love him," he said, and TK could feel his heart racing. He doubted he could ever react differently to Carlos Reyes. "Did I mention he's the love of my life?"

TK could feel tears in his eyes again.

"Yeah?"

Carlos nodded.

"Yeah" he agreed. "He's the strongest man I've ever known, he loves me and, one day, I'll marry him" his voice was barely above a whisper as he felt TK's grip tighten, and he smiles softly and put his lips against his ear. "Can you believe it?"

TK laughed against Carlos' warm skin, nodding happily.

"I can" he answered, moving again so he could face Carlos once more. "Thank you".

Carlos smiles.

"Always. And forever" was his reply. "And, although you're unfairly gorgeous even crying, I'd love to make you forget the reasons you had to cry, especially today".

TK smiled.

"What do you suggest?"

"First? A nap" he said. "Then? I'll call Paul, Marjan, Mateo, Judd, Grace, and Nancy to come over so we can celebrate the strongest person we all know" his voice was soft and full of love. "while eating tacos and seeing Marjan destroy everyone on every videogame we can find. What do you think?"

"Only if you promise me cuddles too," he said, smiling just as much as Carlos.

"Anything else?"

"Nah," TK said, pressing a quick kiss to Carlos' mouth. "I don't need anything more than you".

While TK snored softly beside him, a few minutes later, Carlos could only think about how the sight of TK crying could break his heart more than anything else, and how the simple knowledge he was okay and even a little bit happy was enough to mend every crack in his soul.

Falling for Morgan had been easy and unnoticed. Falling for Trevor had been funny and lasting. Falling for Declan had been a mistake.

Falling for TK was just right.


End file.
